Holinesia??
Whoa! Is this like what old Rip van experienced? Where have I (or you) been? The last thing I remember is a lot of colored lights and evergreen boughs, crowds and long lines of crabby people, a mere sip of eggnog, and then it's a big blank.
I'm trying to get back to a state of something like normality and gain some understanding why so much of the news has a sort of Inquisition flavor to it. But I'm pleased to find humor still exists and that it's still apparently possible to achieve celeb status by parroting the behavior of our appointed ruler, err non-elected president. You probably can't imagine from my boyish charm, but I'm actually old enough to remember when long-playing records were made mocking the Kennedys (during that brief innocent fling we shared). I think there was a "van" involved that time too (that's enough coincidence to cause suspicion - whatever we do, let's not set the CIA or NSA on it though). Or maybe it's van Cliburn I'm thinking of. Wish there was a faster antidote for this holidaria.
Anyway, while I try to work out why this keyboard has a non-alphabetical order to it, try a taste of this:
Tacoma News Tribune
Rep. Brian Baird, with his wicked impersonation of President Bush, arguably is the funniest of [all the comical congresspeople]. Earlier this year, he claimed the title of “Funniest Celebrity in Washington” at a charity event competition.
The Vancouver Democrat is on a roll. First, he tosses off a few one-liners, capturing the president’s voice, mannerisms, cadence and inflection:
• “Saddam Hussein has escaped. It seems someone put him in a lockbox with Social Security.”
• “We have created 10 million jobs. They’re in India and China, but I am proud of it.”
• “Last time, Democrats said I stole the election. This time I’m going to buy it for $250 million.”
[snip]
This year we are going to launch a lot of operations. We’re doing that because you in the press will print anything if we call it operations. We are launching Operation Simplified Grammar. Last year it was Operation Simplified Spelling.
We took unnecessary letters out of certain words, like agriculture used to have two R’s in it. It’s got one now. Terrorist has one R in it. It used to have two. This year we are taking the verb ‘are’ out of the English language because there is way too many rules in the English language.
[snip]
I'm trying to get back to a state of something like normality and gain some understanding why so much of the news has a sort of Inquisition flavor to it. But I'm pleased to find humor still exists and that it's still apparently possible to achieve celeb status by parroting the behavior of our appointed ruler, err non-elected president. You probably can't imagine from my boyish charm, but I'm actually old enough to remember when long-playing records were made mocking the Kennedys (during that brief innocent fling we shared). I think there was a "van" involved that time too (that's enough coincidence to cause suspicion - whatever we do, let's not set the CIA or NSA on it though). Or maybe it's van Cliburn I'm thinking of. Wish there was a faster antidote for this holidaria.
Anyway, while I try to work out why this keyboard has a non-alphabetical order to it, try a taste of this:
Tacoma News Tribune
Rep. Brian Baird, with his wicked impersonation of President Bush, arguably is the funniest of [all the comical congresspeople]. Earlier this year, he claimed the title of “Funniest Celebrity in Washington” at a charity event competition.
The Vancouver Democrat is on a roll. First, he tosses off a few one-liners, capturing the president’s voice, mannerisms, cadence and inflection:
• “Saddam Hussein has escaped. It seems someone put him in a lockbox with Social Security.”
• “We have created 10 million jobs. They’re in India and China, but I am proud of it.”
• “Last time, Democrats said I stole the election. This time I’m going to buy it for $250 million.”
[snip]
This year we are going to launch a lot of operations. We’re doing that because you in the press will print anything if we call it operations. We are launching Operation Simplified Grammar. Last year it was Operation Simplified Spelling.
We took unnecessary letters out of certain words, like agriculture used to have two R’s in it. It’s got one now. Terrorist has one R in it. It used to have two. This year we are taking the verb ‘are’ out of the English language because there is way too many rules in the English language.
[snip]
posted by Sir Gumbo at 10:29 PM
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